Then…
Throughout my life, a shadow has rested over me. No matter how far or fast I run, it follows. For a long time I have thought I will never be free from it.
Until the day came when I realized that the shadow was myself. The shadow was a scared self that sought comfort, confirmation and love. No matter how I ran, I found none of it and everything turned into a disaster. Because no matter how fast I was, the shadow was faster. Like a hurricane, it took everything in its path.
The day when my “trash hold” became too full then I spat on everything. That day I hate the whole world. That day I decided that I would learn to love myself.
Imagine that you are watching a movie where the lyrics come at a fast pace towards you and they never end. After a while, you start to feel very annoyed with them and prefer to switch off. But you can not. The lyrics become questions that come up again and again, for every lap they pop up a new question comes up and you stand there with no answers at all.
All of a sudden you are in a plot not of nothing with clouds that are questions. Some issues bring rain, wind and hurricane. Some of them bring the sun with heat warmer than you can ever imagine. Some questions are so foggy that you do not see anything but all questions are part of the fear you feel about different things.
The only friend or foe if you will, you have here is the shadow that will never stop following you.
But no matter how difficult it is, you become more and more confident that you will be able to do this. This has only one drawback. YOU MUST BE HONEST TO YOURSELF AND OTHERS.
You know deep down that this honesty has a price. But you ask yourself what is the best pain or pleasure and What is pain or pleasure in questions we ask ourselves?
Now…
